A guy was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a local bar for a drink.
Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup.
As the man threw a few bucks into her cup, the nun launched into a long tirade about the evils of alcohol. She went on and on about how alcohol was tearing apart the fabric of society and how it was the root of all the city’s problems.
Slightly pissed off at having to listen to this, the guy said, “Listen, sister, I work hard for my money and sometimes at the end of a long day I like a drink or two. That doesn’t make me a bad person. I have a wife I idolize and two wonderful kids at home. I provide for my family, I volunteer my time to several local service clubs, and I contribute regularly to various charities. Yet you stand here and condemn me just because I drink the occasional glass of scotch!”
The nun was slightly taken aback and replied, “I see your point, my son, and I apologize if I offended you, but the alcohol is such a powerful demon that all who consume it are doomed…”
“Look, there you go again,” said the man, “How can you make such a sweeping statement. Have you ever even TRIED alcohol?”
“Of course not!” gasped the nun, “The evil alcohol has never touched my lips.”
“Do you really think that one glass of booze can change you from a devout nun to some kind of evil degenerate?”
“Well, I really don’t know….”
“I’ll tell you what, come into the bar with me and I’ll buy you a drink. One drink. I’ll prove to you that “evil” is not inside the glass, it’s inside the person.”
“Oh, I could never be seen going into such a den of inequity; it’s out of the question.
However, your comment about evil residing in the person rather than the glass is quite intriguing. I must admit you’ve aroused a curiosity in me.”
“Well, let’s go inside and settle this.”
“No, my son, I could never enter such a place… but how about this? Take my tin cup with you and fill it with this “scotch” you mentioned. Bring it out to me, and I’ll try it.”
“You’re on!” said the guy.
The nun removed all the change and handed him the tin cup. He went into the bar and said to the bartender, “Two scotches on the rocks, and could you put one of them in this tin cup, please?”
The bartender sighed and said, “Is that frickin’ nun out there again!”
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A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini.
Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
“Well,” said a customer, “I never saw anything as peculiar as that!”
“What’s so peculiar about it?” the bartender said.
“His wife sent him out for a jar of olives.”