Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.
She says, “Hello class, I’m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name, class, remember it has an “r” after the first letter.”
The entire class says, “Hello Mrs. Prussy.”
A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.
Johnny thinks hard and says to the teacher, “I remember it has an “r” after the first letter.”
“That’s right!” she coaxed.
…
..
.
Then after a few seconds, Little Johnny says, “Mrs. Crunt?”
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A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship and ordered a Scotch with two drops of water.
The bartender gave her the drink, and she said, “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it’s today.”
The bartender said, “Now that it’s your birthday, this one’s on me.”
When the lady finished her drink, a woman to her right said, “I want to buy you a drink too.”
The lady said, “Thank you, how sweet of you. Okay, bartender, I’d like another Scotch with two drops of water. ”
“Coming up,” said the bartender.
When she finished drinking, a man to her left said, “I want to buy you a drink too.”
The lady said, “Thank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I’ll have another Scotch with two drops of water. ”
“Coming right up,” the bartender said.
When he gave her the drink, this time, he said, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?”
The old woman giggled, and replied, “Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue.”
LOL!!
Hope this joke will make you smile! Have a nice day!!
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An old lady went to a bank intending to withdraw money…
The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.”
The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.”
The old lady then asked, “Why?” The teller irritably told her, “These are rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.” She then returned the card to the old lady.
The old lady remained silent. But she returned the card to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down, and said to the old lady, “My apologies Granny, you have $3.5 million in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?”
The old lady then asked, “How much am I able to withdraw now?”
The teller told her, “Any amount up to $300,000”
The old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw $300,000 from her account.
The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully.
The old lady kept $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $299,500 back into her account.
The moral of this tale…
Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skills.