Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away.
He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench.
Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, “Pardon me, ma’am, but may I sit here with you?”
The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished-looking white-haired gentleman and replied, “Why certainly,” and scooted over gently to give him room to sit down.
For the next two hours, the two sat and talked about everything. They discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had had long, happy marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed about almost everything.
Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, “Ma’am, may I ask you two questions?”
With great anticipation, Marcia replied, “Why certainly!”
The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and looked her softly in the eyes, “Marcia, I know we’ve only known each other for a couple of hours, but we have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life. Will you marry me and be my wife?”
Marcia grabbed Jimmie’s hands and said, “Why, yes, I will marry you! You have made me so very happy!”
She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek.
Then Marcia said, “You said you had two questions to ask me. What is the second question?”
Jimmie scratched his neck and said, “Will you help me get up?”
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An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.
The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands, they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered and found the old desk they’d shared, where Jerry had carved I love you, Sally.
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money – fifty thousand dollars!
Jerry said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said,”No.”
Jerry said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.”
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.”
The agents turned to Jerry and began to question him.
One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Jerry said, “Well when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday…”
The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”