A blonde is swimming in a river.
A man walks up and asks her, “What are you doing in there?”
She says, “I’m washing my clothes.”
The man asks, “Why don’t you use a washing machine?”
The blonde says, “I tried that, but it was too dizzy.”
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Joke of the day: Couple celebrates golden anniversary
A couple is celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
The husband takes the opportunity to ask his wife whether in all their years together she had ever been unfaithful to him.
“Only three times,” she said.
“Three times?” the husband asked, shocked. “When were they?”
“Well,” she said, “Do you remember when you wanted to start your law practice, and no bank would give you a loan? Suddenly, one day the bank president himself called you and signed the loan. That was the first time.”
The husband looked embarrassed but said, “Well, you helped me out, so I guess I can forgive that. And the second time?”
“Do you remember when you had that heart attack and needed that operation, but we couldn’t afford it? And then the doctor himself did it for free? That was the second time.”
“Oh darling,” said the husband, “you saved my life! Of course I can forgive that. And the third time?”
“Do you remember,” she said, “when you ran for bar association president and you needed 317 more votes?”